Fear Factor

Fear can factor so much in ones life.
Like, the fear of darkness, that fear prevents you to get up in the middle of the night, walk upto the washroom and pee.
Like, the fear of falling down, prevents you from taking a leap.
Like, the fear of losing someone, makes you overprotective.

I have been engulfed by all these fears and believe me some ridiculous ones too (ridiculous to others and pretty serious to me...like a life n death situation). The fear of losing someone, especially your baby is quite overwhelming. These past 7 months this fear has taken a toll on the best (I would like to think that way) of my blogging abilities and prevented me from writing about the most important highlights of 2010, our new baby.
What altered my thoughts and helped me a wee bit in overcoming this hurdle were 2 blogs I came across.

One, was a blog that a mum had dedicated to her 19 year old daughter (whom she lost to an illness). The positivity thats conveyed in the blog can only be understood once you read it.

The 2nd, is the blog written by the daughter (a month or so before she passed away) so vivacious so lively, I felt like I was talking to someone, to a friend, I guess.

The 2 blogs are so overpowering and I have decided, I will not let my fear of losing my baby, stop me from writing about him/her.

2011

First day at work, I mean same old place, same old machine, same old application, same old people, but what a start to the day!!!
Well, actually what an End to the day.
I was sitting with anklets (our usual break time) gossiping and talking about her clothes and mine, things that happened during her engagement etc etc, when this lady(ofcourse, I know this lady, she is a colleague) came by with a huge smiled pasted on her face and eyebrows dancing in a way to a laser light or disco lights wud run up n down my protruded tummy.
She asked, "I see you everyday and not once realised that you have a swell on ur tummy. Are you expecting???"
I was like, "Ya. you know this worries me. I am already in my 7th month and you gals are noticing just now".
She "Ah its ok. The first time around you have a small tummy. When I was expecting my 2nd, even in my 3rd month ppl would say I was 7 months into my term."
I smiled (so happily) "But this ones my 2nd"
She (Eyes popping out) " Don't tell me. I didn't even know you were married. Let alone have a kid."
Anklet turned to see the lady and smiled.
She(looking at anklet) "she is generally so bubbly na, you can't make out right?"

I was laughing now, the lady was telling this to Anklet. Anklet who suffered most of my first pregnancy and was annoyed about it hahahaha.

Well, how does it matter to me ;) I was happy that my dull day was marked with a lovely compliment. I just hope and pray the baby is fine and growing up well.

2011, here I come :)