It’s the 19the week and now mummu is busy and active with all her tantrums (there she kicked me :) ) I ain’t complaining. Wonderful 19 weeks and still more to come.
I have been keeping myself up to date, reading books(which honestly I have stopped reading) checking out this link http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/pregnancycalendar/l/blweek19.htm (which I do it quite religiously), and this is where I came across “10 tips for Dads” obviously this link was intended for dads who are abroad(but nevertheless useful tips). Check out this link http://pregnancy.about.com/cs/forfathersonly/a/tippregdad.htm
Well you will get the tips here as well if you just read on…
1. Rub her feet. Doing a hand or foot massage can help relieve a lot of tension and give you some quiet time to talk. I prefer using a mint lotion on my feet to help invigorate myself. Ask her what he preference is for lotion.
2. Clean the bathroom. This might sound like something that is very low priority but who wants to throw up in a dirty toilet? This is one of the best things my husband does for me!
3. Show interest. Yes, you're discussing baby names for the umpteenth time, but it's important to her and ultimately you. Go to appointments when you can, if you have trouble getting away be sure to make it to the big ones like the first heartbeat and the ultrasounds.
4. Take her out to dinner. Don't forget date night! Sometimes it seems like your fetus has taken over your life months before it gets here. Remember to spend time as a couple.
5. Take childbirth classes. Don't worry about turning green or looking silly. These classes will help you tremendously once she's in labor. A good class should prepare you for anything along the way. It also gives you a chance to ask questions.
6. Fill the gas tank. Sounds silly, but the fumes can make her feel ill and aren't good for her or your baby. This small act of kindness will go along way.
7. Read a book. It doesn't have to be a high tech serious book, but showing her you have interests on your own about the pregnancy can ease her fears. Not to mention reading can give you an edge up and provide you with some talking points for future conversations. There are also many websites designed for dads.
8. Let her nap! If mom is exhausted an hour nap when she comes home can make a world of difference, as could sleeping in on the weekend. You might even take it one step further and provide breakfast in bed.
9. Feel the baby. You've heard it more than once, "Just put your hand right here…" All of sudden she reports that the baby has stopped moving now. Try resting your hand on her belly during TV time or while you're laying in bed. (Ask first!) Chances are the longer you leave it there the more likely you are to be rewarded with the thumps and flutters she so longs for you to feel.
10. Keep things running smoothly. This can a variety of things from helping to pay the bills, without complaining, to arranging childcare for an afternoon off. Allow her some alone time where she can relax and do what she wants, shop, read, nap, swim, etc. By helping to ensure small things don't fall by the wayside you will make the household a happier one.
Counter points to the above 10 points are the 10 things that I appreciate My hubby darling does for me and I believe any Dad should do for the mothers_to_be:
1. Filled Bucket in the loo
The need and urgency to go to the loo is tried and tested during pregnancy and everything and anything can irritate you. Infact the need and urgency to empty your bladder is inversely proportional to the speed of the lift, the distance between you and the loo, the time of the day and so many other things. And the last thing that you would want to realise is that there is no water...which is quite possible at times...knowing that there are load sheddings and power cuts so often.
2. Picking up heavy stuff and that means my purse at times
A ladies purse is like one of those massive jungles where in you will always find place to dump things…but if you need to fetch something out of it you will never find things at the right time and also when it is much required. My purse at times can have everything that anyone would need and at the same time will be damn heavy. Without a word Suraj would always volunteer to carry it, even now…I have never heard him complain about it…that makes life easier
3. Rubbing my back
Moms_to_be : Your back doesn’t remain yours at all…for that matter none of the body part does, but "The back" is the most sensitive part…cos I being one of the back-sleepers(someone who likes to sleep on her back)...i find it extremely difficult and irresistible to not be able to sleep on my back now…and if I do, the ordeal of lying awake with this terrible pain is unbearable…n unthinkable…(unthinkable cos rmbr there is a baby inside...so for the sake of the baby atleast the blood circulation needs to be proper...and sleeping on one's back is NOT healthy at all)
Suraj started off with the back rubs quite early on…and its reached to an extent that even if I take his hand to any part of my body(hands legs back head) now(as in when he is wide awake) or in his deepest sleep he will end up rubbing it for me….for that matter even if I want him to feel the baby kick…he ends up rubbing my stomach :) (so sweet)
4. Sharing household chores
Household chores seem too mundane and all of a sudden require so much effort that it is unbearable. Washing utensils, washing clothes(so what if it means barely walking 10 steps grab the clothes and putting them in the washing machine) drying clothes, cooking, cleaning the house….and sometimes taking bath is too much to ;) . And Suraj does it all for me (advantages of staying alone)
5. Midnight snacks or shall I say Dawn b’fast
My first trimester saw me hogging away to glory during the early mornings between 2 am and 5 am (well actually esp thru the early mornings). The first time it happened, both me and Suraj were a lil puzzled as to what I could eat so late in the night or early in the morning, after much deliberation and loads of discussion so early on, Suraj decided to give me cold milk and some khaaris and from then on its been the same, though my craving for early morning snacks has now subsided. In all these getting up and getting off the bed I have never heard him complain no matter what.
6. Helping hand
I no more have to extend my hand to ask for Surajs…his extended hand is always there…be it me trying to get off the bean bag or get off the bed. Before I stretch or extend my hands to pick anything or anyone or to pick myself…Suraj would say “Wait I will come over and help you”. He wouldn’t let me pick up things cos I m not supposed to be bending over.
7. Medications and prohibited food
Having/trying to have medications is a huge task as far as I am concerned. I am perpetually running away from medications. I pretend to go off to sleep or hide my medicines but Suraj without fail ensures that if I don’t hv it willingly…its forced down my throat. Coffee in access is a big no no…(Scientific reasoning : Caffenine hampers the iron consumption in blood...and iron is something very essential for the baby) He ensures that I have a bit of it in the morning that’s it. Confirmation with the doctor is the first thing that he does if he finds that I have craving for something that he thinks/knows is very heaty.
8. Comforts
Extra pillows, bottle of chilled water, packet of milk, fruits, coconut water, hot water bag…u name it we have it. To make traveling convenient now we have our very own CAR...
9. Hugs and kisses
I love attention and its never enough…(my friends will back this one) Suraj seems to know/gauge if I want a hug or a peck and he does that…this is the best part of having a loving partner around.
10. Talk to the baby
Most important...He talks and feels the baby moving and sometimes puts the baby to sleep(by talking to her) and that’s the most blissful thing and wakes her up and plays imaginery cricket with her. The bonding between the Father and baby is there, another bliss.
and for all of this I would always be thankful to Suraj...My Sunshine...
