Fear can factor so much in ones life.
Like, the fear of darkness, that fear prevents you to get up in the middle of the night, walk upto the washroom and pee.
Like, the fear of falling down, prevents you from taking a leap.
Like, the fear of losing someone, makes you overprotective.
I have been engulfed by all these fears and believe me some ridiculous ones too (ridiculous to others and pretty serious to me...like a life n death situation). The fear of losing someone, especially your baby is quite overwhelming. These past 7 months this fear has taken a toll on the best (I would like to think that way) of my blogging abilities and prevented me from writing about the most important highlights of 2010, our new baby.
What altered my thoughts and helped me a wee bit in overcoming this hurdle were 2 blogs I came across.
One, was a blog that a mum had dedicated to her 19 year old daughter (whom she lost to an illness). The positivity thats conveyed in the blog can only be understood once you read it.
The 2nd, is the blog written by the daughter (a month or so before she passed away) so vivacious so lively, I felt like I was talking to someone, to a friend, I guess.
The 2 blogs are so overpowering and I have decided, I will not let my fear of losing my baby, stop me from writing about him/her.
04 January, 2011
03 January, 2011
2011
First day at work, I mean same old place, same old machine, same old application, same old people, but what a start to the day!!!
Well, actually what an End to the day.
I was sitting with anklets (our usual break time) gossiping and talking about her clothes and mine, things that happened during her engagement etc etc, when this lady(ofcourse, I know this lady, she is a colleague) came by with a huge smiled pasted on her face and eyebrows dancing in a way to a laser light or disco lights wud run up n down my protruded tummy.
She asked, "I see you everyday and not once realised that you have a swell on ur tummy. Are you expecting???"
I was like, "Ya. you know this worries me. I am already in my 7th month and you gals are noticing just now".
She "Ah its ok. The first time around you have a small tummy. When I was expecting my 2nd, even in my 3rd month ppl would say I was 7 months into my term."
I smiled (so happily) "But this ones my 2nd"
She (Eyes popping out) " Don't tell me. I didn't even know you were married. Let alone have a kid."
Anklet turned to see the lady and smiled.
She(looking at anklet) "she is generally so bubbly na, you can't make out right?"
I was laughing now, the lady was telling this to Anklet. Anklet who suffered most of my first pregnancy and was annoyed about it hahahaha.
Well, how does it matter to me ;) I was happy that my dull day was marked with a lovely compliment. I just hope and pray the baby is fine and growing up well.
2011, here I come :)
Well, actually what an End to the day.
I was sitting with anklets (our usual break time) gossiping and talking about her clothes and mine, things that happened during her engagement etc etc, when this lady(ofcourse, I know this lady, she is a colleague) came by with a huge smiled pasted on her face and eyebrows dancing in a way to a laser light or disco lights wud run up n down my protruded tummy.
She asked, "I see you everyday and not once realised that you have a swell on ur tummy. Are you expecting???"
I was like, "Ya. you know this worries me. I am already in my 7th month and you gals are noticing just now".
She "Ah its ok. The first time around you have a small tummy. When I was expecting my 2nd, even in my 3rd month ppl would say I was 7 months into my term."
I smiled (so happily) "But this ones my 2nd"
She (Eyes popping out) " Don't tell me. I didn't even know you were married. Let alone have a kid."
Anklet turned to see the lady and smiled.
She(looking at anklet) "she is generally so bubbly na, you can't make out right?"
I was laughing now, the lady was telling this to Anklet. Anklet who suffered most of my first pregnancy and was annoyed about it hahahaha.
Well, how does it matter to me ;) I was happy that my dull day was marked with a lovely compliment. I just hope and pray the baby is fine and growing up well.
2011, here I come :)
1st Monday of 2011
And I am feeling blessed today, why not? When your child is well behaved for the nth time you don't have to think abt all the right things to say or do, to get her out of the bed in a fraction of a second and get her bathed n dressed n ready for school in the next fraction.
The first Monday of this year started on a good note.
Mummu all of 3 years, 3 months and 3 days had been very excited about going to school. Mainly, cos the entire week that she had an off, we (Su is equally to be blamed for this) never took her anywhere except for circus that too on 1st Jan. So ya she was excited about going to school right from Sunday. Thats very unlike of her, mainly cos its winter, and for a change its quite cold, getting up in the mornings is a challenge for me, I don't expect mummu to be happy about it.What can excited her about going to school are her friends and teachers, which is really a blessing and I hope it continues all her life.
So Monday morning started with Su calling out to Mummu couple of times and mummu waking up with minimum resistance. She happily ran to the bathroom to be bathed by her dad, Wear the dress that her dad decided to put for her (white frock with blue dots on them and a blue collar) without any resistance at all. Su took her to amma house, where she happily lay watching TV, when I entered. She decided to have her milk, get her hair combed and tie 2 pony tails and the highlight of the morning, infact the highlightS were:
Mummu reminded me "Mumma its gym day today, so wear T-shirt and Track pants no mumma"Oh Jezz, I had forgotten completely mondays are gym day. I quickly got her changed into a purple tights and green T-shirt.
Just before leaving for her school and my office respectively, she told me "Mumma, time for in the name of the father"
So there standing next to my lil gal and infront of the alter,I prayed "In the name of the father..."
Mummu continued "son, holy spiri Amen.Our father who in heaven hallow be thy naim thy kinpdom come thy will be done on earth thy kinpdom come "
I joined in " on earth as it is in heaven..."Mummu took charge "give us today our daily bread, give us today our daily bread, and trespasses forgive our trespasses"Together the 2 of us " as we forgive those who trespass against us deliver us from every evil.Amen"
I thought that was the end of the prayers, but Mummu continued: "Hail mary full of grace lord is with you lord is with you"Together the 2 of us again prayed " blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus"Mummu continued "holy mary mother of God deliver us from evil amen."
I thanked the Lord.
What else do you ask from the Lord?
PS: The prayers mentioned here are mummu's attempt at learning them right, there has been no intensions of making fun or any pun intended
The first Monday of this year started on a good note.
Mummu all of 3 years, 3 months and 3 days had been very excited about going to school. Mainly, cos the entire week that she had an off, we (Su is equally to be blamed for this) never took her anywhere except for circus that too on 1st Jan. So ya she was excited about going to school right from Sunday. Thats very unlike of her, mainly cos its winter, and for a change its quite cold, getting up in the mornings is a challenge for me, I don't expect mummu to be happy about it.What can excited her about going to school are her friends and teachers, which is really a blessing and I hope it continues all her life.
So Monday morning started with Su calling out to Mummu couple of times and mummu waking up with minimum resistance. She happily ran to the bathroom to be bathed by her dad, Wear the dress that her dad decided to put for her (white frock with blue dots on them and a blue collar) without any resistance at all. Su took her to amma house, where she happily lay watching TV, when I entered. She decided to have her milk, get her hair combed and tie 2 pony tails and the highlight of the morning, infact the highlightS were:
Mummu reminded me "Mumma its gym day today, so wear T-shirt and Track pants no mumma"Oh Jezz, I had forgotten completely mondays are gym day. I quickly got her changed into a purple tights and green T-shirt.
Just before leaving for her school and my office respectively, she told me "Mumma, time for in the name of the father"
So there standing next to my lil gal and infront of the alter,I prayed "In the name of the father..."
Mummu continued "son, holy spiri Amen.Our father who in heaven hallow be thy naim thy kinpdom come thy will be done on earth thy kinpdom come "
I joined in " on earth as it is in heaven..."Mummu took charge "give us today our daily bread, give us today our daily bread, and trespasses forgive our trespasses"Together the 2 of us " as we forgive those who trespass against us deliver us from every evil.Amen"
I thought that was the end of the prayers, but Mummu continued: "Hail mary full of grace lord is with you lord is with you"Together the 2 of us again prayed " blessed are you amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus"Mummu continued "holy mary mother of God deliver us from evil amen."
I thanked the Lord.
What else do you ask from the Lord?
PS: The prayers mentioned here are mummu's attempt at learning them right, there has been no intensions of making fun or any pun intended
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