M.I.S.T.A.K.E.S

And I have been making mighty ones and countless of them.

Sept 13th, 2011
Came back from work exhausted. Was happy to see the kids happy. Just when I was in the lift, a lil boy told me 'Aunty I have just dropped Chiku home'. And I was so glad to hear that. Finally, she is making friends and going out to play on her own. I took lil sunny, and fed him. He threw up some milk. I went to get a mop. I was just cleaning, just before that I instructed Chiku, not to walk on the wet floor ( she is prone to falling on the floor all the time). She walked down, without bothering to see where she was going, picked up the glass that had fallen on the floor, just close to where I was cleaning. I got so angry, I gave her a spank.
She looked angrily at me and screamed: 'I was only picking up the glass'.
I didn't know what to say.

Sept 14th, 2011
Finished all the chores before time today. Decided to leave for the office bus a little early so that I don't have to run for it and in turn catch the bus sweating like a pig. As usual, I took chiku along with me to drop her off in the building corridor where her other friends gather(shall I say wait for her), and I left for my bus not before giving a peck on her cheeks and asking her to stay put. She in turn said: ' I also want to do it'. She gave me a peck too and hugged me and I waived her bye. About couple of hours after I reached office, mum called me and was scolding me for leaving chiku alone. She told me that there was nobody with her and she started to cry and she was walking here n there aimlessly. Fortunately, my brother went down to check on me instead found Chiku wandering about and crying her lungs out. I am sure she must have been so upset and sad and in her own words 'I was sooooooo alone'.


Dear Chiku
I am sorry, for yesterday and today, and for all the days that I have been unreasonable and lost my temper without understanding or realising what it would do to you.
I am sorry for making you upset and scolding you, even when I know that you are still a baby and I cannot and shouldnot expect you to act like a grown-up.
I am not a bad mother and I am trying really hard to change myself.
I will try harder to keep my temper in control and to ensure that you are alright at all times.
luv always,
Mumma