You know

..what makes me feel proud???

Both of you!!

Both you lovely, tiny people.
My babies!!

Mumma loves both of you and adores you too!!

Luv
Mumma

Fascinations

...and I don't know where to start from. I really don't!!!

I know that you are all grown up my baby, my Champ!!! and though at such a tender age you are an amazing lil boy!!!

At 5 years, you surprise us. For starters, your drawings has such intelligence that I am in awe!! I think, I should be systematic and store all of them well least I should henceforth -- I might lose a precious one and then it will be too late to make memories.
You once drew an Owl. I would have thought, a kid of your age would just-draw-an-owl. A lil above the owl was a cute moon and that prompted a Q&A session.
Me : Baba, whats that?
Baba : What mumma?
Me : Baba, whats that?
Baba : Thats an Owl. U se Ullu.

Me : Baba, and whats that?
Baba : thats a moon na mumma, you cann't see (with a cheeky smile)
Me : and why did you make a moon
Baba : because I wanted to show that owl comes in night na mumma. You don't know  (with a cheeky smile).


There are times when I think you have outgrown the "hugs" bit and then you surprise me everyday. You run in my arms and ask me to pick you up and then you tell me what you did during the day - which necessarily means how many chocs you ate, how many waffy you ate, how many biscuits you ate, what you drew and if you did eat your tiffin or not.

All I am glad of is that I get one more day to hold you and dread the day I won't be allowed to hug you. Thinking of All this at the same time!!

There are times when you just press your cheeks against my lips and ask me to give you uncountable muchies. Then I am rewarded with one peck on my cheeks!!

You have a real special bond with Cuckoo. Most of the time I can hear both of you giggling and laughing and playing and there are times when I see you fighting. But its just for a fraction of time.

Jealousy is something that keeps you on your toes.
On cuckoo's birthday I was scanning through some baby pix of Cuckoo and You were crying so bitterly cos we didn't look at any of your pics. It was funny then. However, when cuckoo explained that we were looking through her pix Only cos it was her birthday, you automatically declared that it was your birthday the next day and that we will be scanning your pix as well.

You are cute and chubby and I love to cuddle you and hug you and kiss you. You my baby are gonna grow up so quickly and before I know it you will no longer be the tini Boy I know but a big boy.

I hope you grow up to be a great guy and There's so much love always in you.

Luv
Mumma

Performance

So it all comes down to that one day in your professional life when people sit alongside and have every right to tell you what they think you can do better or what they think you did well or what they think etc etc etc.

Well, its hard for a person like me to sit down and sit through all of this, however this time around, it was a different experience. I felt nice!! Nice, that I could stay calm and deliver my lil speech in a nutshell of my high impact areas, of my time in the project, of the things that I have done brilliantly, proud of my achievements.

Nice also cos I did hear people say a hell lot of positives to me..
To single me out and call me a 'Leader'! To call me someone who learns constantly.  To be a very hard working person!! Its absolutely amazing to hear your friend(who also is your manager) to say that. It means a lot! You know everything that is being said is genuine when it comes from a friend!!!

Areas of improvement, as my name suggests I am pushy and people told me to stop doing that. Exactly!!! How can I??? How will I?? May be I won't May be I will!!!
Like someone said "take it or leave it".


All in all I m glad it was NOT that bad at all!!!

I wish in relations too we could sit down and have a round of feedback sessions too, rather than name-callings!!!

Shaken

Dear Cuckoo,

My darling cuckoo, I love you very much. A hell lot actually!!!
I can't begin to tell you how proud you make me feel!!!

Just this Ganpati, you along with your friend Lavanya decided to dance on "Kala doriya" and it was so amazing to watch you dance on the punjabi number. Your confidence and beauty is to die for!! and I feel immensely proud of you!!!
Though, I might scold you time and again for being so straight forward and taking decisions independently, the reason is I am worried that you will stop asking me for things like every child does. There are things that you do these days which leaves me happy at times and I worry at times that you have actually become too independent.

At almost 9 (yep just 9 days left for your birthday as I write this) you have already started making big decisions for yourself that you wanted to go tuition, may be its your fascination of going to a new place/teacher to learn. I can already tell that you are going to be a fiercely independent gal once you grow up and I wish I could stop the time and sit with you and talk to you and hold you and hug you.
I wish I could hear you sing all the tini tiny poems you used to sing when you were a toddler. Now you sing songs with an amazing class -
1. Let it go - Frozen
2. A thousand years - Christina Perri
some lovely hymns
3. Enna Kodupaen - Tamil
4. A gift to you

Your voice has this ethereal beauty that leaves anyone listening to you mesmerized.

We are seeing some tough times (as I write) and in all these days/months, I have seen you hold me more often than I have held you. My hugs to you have been more for myself than for you. You have sensed my disappointments and sorrows and have kissed me to wipe my tears away.

You have shown me amazing amount of strength!! I wish you wouldn't have had to mature so quickly.

You have already taken the ownership of guiding your lil brother while you yourself are so young and need guidance. I have seen you pampering the lil boy so much. He feels loved and cherished because of you. I have seen you group hugging when you are left out of hugs but never complain or cry for attention cos of the lil devil. You read to him and that's the most cherished memories he is ever going to have. You are nurturing a truly special bond and I pray to God that you both may continue to grow your bond stronger in his blessings.

I see you smile in the most difficult situation and I wish I could learn more from you. And then I feel how could I have landed you in a situation which tests your strength? You are still small, you are not even 10 years and you put up a brave face when the time demands.

You have been my strength and you continue to be stronger every day.
No matter what happens Mumma loves Mummu very very much.

God Bless my cuckoo.
Love always
Mumma







PS: This is NOT an attempt to join the bandwagon of the stardom like Narayan Murthy, Prakash Padukone etc.

PPS: If you google this time frame, you will find many celebrities have written letters to their lovely daughters.

PPPS: Their daughters are all grown up women actually. On the other hand, YOU my cuckoo are still a lil butterfly.

I Wish..

and I really wish
 Love will make it alright!!

Songs In My head

and the Trend continues...
It probably defines my state of mind....sorry not "probably"...it definitely speaks volumes of my state of mind.

I am strong...strong
I am invincible ...invincible...
I am A WOMAN!!!!!!!



Nazar na lagey!! ;)

Sibling love

As they are growing up, I wonder (watching their daily tantrums and complains about each other) whether they will have a lil bit of affection as well for each other.

Both Cuckoo and Sunny are growing up to be fairly independent and sweet kids. And as siblings are they start sweetly but end up arguing and doing "katti" with each other.

On a particular Sunday evening three of us Me, Sunny and cuckoo walked out of the house, planning to go veggie shopping and enjoy some tender coconut water.

As usual, the discussion starts as soon as step out:

Sunny : Mumma, lift or stairs?
Cuckoo : Lift. I already pressed the button (as in I already called the lift)
Sunny : I am not asking you.
Cuckoo : Mumma, see how is baba talking?

Me : Please don't talk like this to each other. Please talk nicely (in a stern voice. Both are quiet).

Sunny : (whispers) Cuckoo, do you want to go out and play?
Cuckoo : (whispers) ask mumma?
Sunny : (whispers) you ask.
Cuckoo : (whispers) your turn to ask mumma.

Me: If you both would like to go and play do so. On my way back, I will pick you both up.

As soon as the lift stopped, they both ran out of the lift. I kept shouting "careful, careful, careful".

In that instant, Cuckoo stopped and told Sunny "hold my hand, we will go together to play."

I say to myself "Sibling love!!! They are gonna be alright now on."

Luv
Mumma

Emotions

She can feel a pair of  eyes staring at her.

He stares and stares and stares, blinks, looks away and stares and stares and stares at her. And every time he stares, his eyes grow larger than before.

He gathers his courage and asks "Mumma, are you NOT happy?"

She wipes the tiniest drop of tear before she looks at the lil boy, gives the biggest SMILE ever and says "Why do you ask?"
He runs into her arms and says "Nothing!!!"